Finding A Mentor: Q&A

Do I have a career mentor?

I have been fortunate to have multiple mentors throughout my professional career and to have served as a mentor for others. For me, the process of finding a mentor has always been organic because I want my mentor to inspire me to achieve greater and aim higher. Therefore, I need to feel a sense of respect and admiration for my mentor to confidently put my trust in their insights and advice. The relationship with my mentor before they served in that role is important if I am going to be comfortable confiding about challenges I am facing or areas where I lack clarity. Often my mentors have been individuals who weren’t my direct superior but were in a more senior leadership role.

How did I find my current mentor, and how helpful has this mentor been in my career?

I found success in connecting with my current mentor by volunteering to help on a project where he was the Executive Sponsor since that would allow me to have an audience with him and become part of his team. Our conversations evolved from project-specific to general leadership discussions and eventually, they addressed topics that were on my mind. I took the initiative to schedule bi-weekly calls with him to foster our mentor/mentee relationship. He became a sounding board for me, and during our calls, I would often have a long list of items to get his thoughts on and ideas to share.

I remember when I was preparing to do my first opening keynote speech at an industry conference. Until that point, the largest audience I spoke in front of was about 25 people in a meeting room, but this would be on stage in front of 150 people. I ran through my presentation with him and without telling me it was boring with no flow; he gave me great advice. I should tell them what I’m going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what I told them. And my slides should add color to my speech, they should not BE my speech! So, I did a re-write, reduced the number of slides, and made them visually interesting. I felt empowered going into the presentation and I nailed it. Afterward, there was a line of attendees waiting to meet me. It gave me exposure and was a huge professional success for me.

The lessons I learned from my mentor are not to do things the way he would, but to consider his perspective and refine the way I do things. He is influential but allows me to leave my own identity intact.  That nuance has enabled me to grow and become more confident in my abilities, which is hugely rewarding.

When is a good time to find a mentor?

There is no bad time to find a mentor since they can serve different purposes. My mentor when I was first promoted to a supervisor at a small insurance company would not be the same mentor to help me launch my career coaching business. But throughout my professional journey, I have benefitted from having mentors even if that relationship changes over time. I don’t have bi-weekly calls now with my mentor who helped me prepare for my keynote, but we still engage every 3-4 months. When I started my business, I met with a mentor once a week for over a year. We occasionally email each other now. One of the many perks of having a mentor is that you always know there is someone who wants to help you succeed, and they make themselves available to you when you need them. But the mentee must own the mentorship and drive the course.

Should you pay for a mentor or mentorship program?

A mentor is not a consultant who tells you what to do, or a coach who guides you in re-framing your thinking. They are there to share their experience in the hopes that you gain insight from it. It isn’t necessary to pay for a mentor or mentorship program unless the proposition of that mentor is so unique or niche that you can’t find it through a free resource. Mentors benefit from being part of mentorship without collecting a paycheck for their expertise. Professionals are typically very willing to serve as a mentor if the mentee is sensitive to their time and demonstrates a genuine interest in learning about the mentor’s experience as opposed to using the mentorship to drive a different agenda.

How would you compare this with an informal colleague relationship?

A mentorship is a learning environment with the mutual goal of the mentor providing the mentee with experience and support whereas informal colleague relationships are collaborative and reciprocal. Both have value and are useful resources throughout your career. Both may provide you with opinions or suggestions when you need help, but only the mentor has deep experience to validate their perspective.

Where can you find a good mentor?

Pay attention to people in your organization or in organizations that you partner with to determine whom you admire and respect most. Actively engage with them to get to know them better while privately assessing if they might be a good mentor for you. If a mentor is recommended to you, be open-minded as you engage with them to ensure that their skillset, values, responsibilities, and/or background aligns with what you seek. Inquire with industry organizations to see if they can suggest mentors. Many are excited to do so if it attracts new talent when it is in short supply (ex: the insurance industry). Another option is to talk to colleagues who have or had fulfilling mentorships and ask them how they were sourced.

When is it time to move on from a mentor, and should you have multiple mentors across your career?

It’s time to move on from your mentor if you feel that you have gained all the value you can from the mentorship. There is no hard and fast timeline to indicate that mentorship should end; I have engaged with one of my mentors for over a decade because he continues to bring me value. If the mentor is not the right fit, then the mentorship should end since it will become a chore to engage. But no matter what the timeline is for a particular mentorship, it is typically at the discretion of the mentee to conclude it. The mentee is ultimately responsible for the success or failure of the mentorship.

Having multiple mentors is a great approach since they can all serve different purposes simultaneously or consecutively.  As your career progresses and your responsibilities and challenges change, different mentors can help guide you down the best path. If you have the kind of job where you are involved in several areas of the business, you can have simultaneous mentors to help in each area. Some mentors may even come in and out of your life depending on what you need at the time. The mentee just has to make sure they do their part in the mentorship (as mentioned above) and that is to be sensitive to the mentor’s time and demonstrate a genuine interest in learning about the mentor’s experience.